The Worst Ideas. Updates every Monday!

Your weekly source for terrible ideas.

Tag: elevator

Are you a fancy individual who hates being delayed in elevators by lowly commoners, yet can’t justify putting in your own personal elevator? This new “executive fingerprint override” elevator button guarantees faster elevator transit.

The issue:

Imagine this situation:

You are a high-ranking member of the royal family. One day, you drive your expensive sports car to your downtown office, park it in the garage, and head to the elevator. You get in, and press the “6” button, to take the elevator to your sixth-floor office.

But as soon as the elevator doors close, you notice that 5 other people in the elevator have already made floor selections before yours—the buttons for 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 are already lit up (Figure 1).

Now, even though the other people are only peasants, you still have to stop on all five floors before you can go to floor six!

Surely this situation has happened to all of us. Read on for a solution!

Fig. 1: Left: A standard elevator panel (it might be European, since it has both a “G” and a “1,” or perhaps the illustrator made a mistake). Right: if the buttons for floors 1 through 5 are lit up, a person who wants to go to floor 6 would have to stop at all five intermediate floors. . . until now, that is.

Proposal:

In order to solve this problem, we introduce new “override” fingerprint sensors: one for each each elevator button (Figure 2).

Someone with authorization can put their finger on the on the override sensor for their desired floor, and the elevator will travel to that floor first (additionally, the elevator will not stop to pick up any passengers on the way).

 

elev-print

Fig. 2: Each floor button has a fingerprint sensor next to it: if a high-ranking individual presses the fingerprint button, then all other elevator actions are cancelled, and the elevator goes directly to the desired floor. Fingerprint sensors are shown as separate buttons for clarity, but the sensors could also be directly integrated into each button.

As an example, if (A) the elevator is on floor 1, (B) buttons for 4, 6, and 8 are pressed, and (C) the high-ranking individual wants to go to floor 7, then the elevator will do the following:

  • Go directly (up) to floor 7. This is where the high-ranking individual wanted to go, so the elevator skipped floors 4 and 6.
  • Then, resume its normal behavior, as if the buttons for 4, 6, and 8 had just been pressed.
  • Since the elevator was traveling upwards, it will go to floor 8 next.
  • Since 8 is the top of the elevator’s current route, it will now become a “down” elevator.
  • Now that the elevator is traveling downwards, it will go to floor 6 and then floor 4.

Conclusion:

This system could also be used to give priority to various individuals; for example, what if both a duke and an earl use their fingerprint overrides—clearly the duke would have priority. Some cases may be less clear; does a baron outrank an archbishop? Undoubtedly, a complex set of rules would have to be included in the unlikely event that multiple high-ranking individuals entered an elevator at the same time.

PROS: Allows the rich and powerful to project their power in a new and unusual manner.

CONS: May cause a proletarian revolution to break out, which would have negative ramifications for the individuals who would make use of this elevator system.

Advertisements

Amazing Elevator Occupancy Secret that will Change Your Life

Here is a boring update to the previous elevator idea:

The issue:

When someone presses the “call elevator” button, the next elevator traveling to that floor (in the correct direction) will stop to let that passenger on.

However: sometimes an elevator is COMPLETELY FULL, yet it stops at the floor anyway.

elevator_blank

This is just a waste of time for everyone: the current occupants are delayed, and the person who pressed the call button just has to press the button again to summon a new (hopefully empty) elevator.

The proposal:

Install a grid of “electric eye”-style detectors on the elevator ceiling. If enough of them detect an obstruction (for example, a passenger) below, the elevator will be declared to be “full.”

Then, the declared-as-full elevator will not stop on a floor where the call button has been pressed unless a current occupant is also getting out on that floor.

PROS: All of them!

CONS: None of them!

Elevator Indicators

 

Here’s the idea:

elevator_blank

When an elevator arrives, it’s not instantly clear if there are people inside it. If there aren’t, it’s acceptable to instantly rush the elevator. But if there are people inside, they’ll need to leave first.   The solution: a light on the doors that indicate whether the arriving elevator is occupied or not. Or you could even have just a small window.

elevator_down_occupied

Bonus secondary solution: the doors themselves could indicate whether the elevator is going up or down.

 

elevator_up

PROS: Impatient elevator boarders would no longer crash into debarking passengers.

CONS: Naturally, none!